As COVID-19 cases rise in New Brunswick and restrictions increase, stress levels are also on the rise.
CHMA speaks with co-founders of Iris Community Counselling and Consulting Inc., Marie Reinsborough-Wadden and Krista Royama, to discuss COVID-19 and mental health.
To begin, Reinsborough-Wadden and Royama talk setting boundaries with friends and loved ones while Zone 1 remains in the orange phase.
Royama says that a friend or family member turning down an invitation during orange phase restrictions is often not personal.
Krista Royama: So we’ve gone into the orange phase twice now. So those conversations may need to be had, so that people understand where everybody’s at. Be willing to process that, if you need time to process that. So you’re not taking it personal in the moment, you know what I mean? Take getting together for a coffee or something, and someone’s saying, “I’m not really comfortable with that.” It has nothing to do with the person themselves. I’m sure the one who’s saying no would love nothing more, but it’s their comfort level.
Dr. Jennifer Russell addressed New Brunswickers in a press conference on November 24th, and encouraged everyone to rehearse a line for turning down indoor gatherings such as parties.
Examples of such phrases include “that doesn’t work for me” or “I’m not comfortable meeting in person, let’s hang out virtually.”
Royama says continuing communication with friends and family is important, and recommends being creative with the method of communication.
Reinsborough-Wadden adds that while it is tempting to push forward and pursue normalcy, sometimes it is necessary to recognize that it is not business as usual.
Marie Reinsborough-Wadden: There’s such a tendency and this encouraged social thing to plow through it, and push through it, and put the positive spin on all of it. Yet, it is really tough and it is really hard. I’m not sure that it’s healthy to ignore that. So let yourself marinate in it for a moment, and that self-reflection can lead to things like… you could start the process of doing like a daily check in. Just sort of see how you’re doing, how isolated you’re feeling. Are you practicing self care? Are you practicing community care, right? That simple daily practice of asking honestly, “how am I today?” and like truly digging a little deeply into what that means. Then you’ll sort of see your progress and see how you’re doing. Then you’ll see moments where maybe you really do need to reach out, maybe you really are feeling isolated. Or maybe you’ll celebrate that you’ve figured out really wonderful ways to conquer how to have been so far
Royama agrees, and adds that gentleness is important.
KR: We want to berate ourselves, because maybe we’re not feeling the motivation that we feel we should be feeling or what have you. But I think it’s important to take a step back and say, “Whoa, times aren’t normal right now, things are very different, and I’m allowed to feel what I’m feeling and acknowledging that” I think is important, too. Because then you’re looking at it from more of a gentle lens.
Reinsborough-Wadden describes this idea as “self-compassion,” which is to have sympathy and understanding for oneself.
MR-W: I think it so often goes back to self compassion, that’s so often what this is. I want to really acknowledge for those of us, myself included who are having heightened emotional reactions, of course we are. Reacting, whether it’s anger, or frustration, or sadness, anxiety… Those are very logical responses to a super stressful, tough, ongoing social trauma that we’re all going through together, right? It’s okay to have really deep, strong emotional reactions. The piece that you have to focus on is, what do you do with that? How do you harness that strong emotional reaction in a way that’s positive?
Royama says self-compassion is important, especially during the pandemic.
The emotions experienced during the pandemic, she says, are similar to grief.
KR: I think a lot of us are experiencing some grief, on some level. Whether it is from the loss of not being able to see loved ones while they’re still alive, or not able to get together this holiday, or even maybe some haven’t seen since this whole thing began. I think that’s tough, right? But then there’s loss of what even your work day looks like, for example. It’s different than what it would have looked like a year ago.
Reinsborough-Wadden describes the COVID-19 pandemic as a “shared, communal trauma.”
This means, she notes, that no one is truly going through this alone.
She says that recognizing signs of stress in your body, whether that’s sore shoulders or a tight-chest feeling, is important.
MR-W: If you flip the way that you think about those discomforts within your body, or there’s emotional discomfort that you’re having, so instead of seeing them as like, “Oh, my shoulders ache” and our long list of discomforts… instead of looking at it as like your body not supporting you, what it really is is your body reaching out and giving you like giving a little wave and saying like, “Hey, Marie, hey Krista, hey man! You’re having a tough moment right now. I’m just giving you a little warning, take care of yourself,” right? So if you flip the way that you think about those stress warning signs, they’re lovely. It’s your body and your mind kind of connecting to take care of you. Although at first it feels uncomfortable. It’s actually like a lovely little gratitude
Both Reinsborough-Wadden and Royama remind those who are struggling to ask for help.
MR-W: So just like a general indication of when your mental fitness is struggling… We all have mental health, but mental fitness is sort of what we’re thinking about. A general kind of underlying rule would be if your mental health is getting in the way of your everyday functioning. So that could be you know, worries, stress, depression, any of these things that indirectly we’re talking about today. So the kind of rule of when to reach out for help is when it’s getting in the way of your everyday functioning. If we’re talking about self care and community care and taking care of others, I just want to sort of plant that seed about self awareness, right? If you, listeners, are realizing that your mental health is really getting in the way of you being a functional, happy, healthy person, it’s probably time to reach out for a little bit of extra help.
Iris Counselling can be reached online.
Other resources in the area include:
The CHIMO helpline at 1-800-667-5005.
The Addiction and Mental Health Mobile Crisis Team at 866-771-7760.
LGBTQ2+ Youth Line, 1-800-268-9688.
Trans Lifeline, toll-free, 1-877-330-6366.